Hello guys! Welcome to my YouTube channel. Please do not forget to subscribe…
*Oops, wrong platform*
While i’m enjoying my bathtub in Bali which is also full of roses, i recommend you new amazing l’Orale Prague moisturiser! It helps me to look 47 years younger!
*Sorry again. I just forgot that they haven’t even payed my paycheck yet…*
Today, i am going to talk about my trip to bérlin. as you see, there is brandenburger tor. and a wall. it belongs to pink floyd i guess… We don’t need no education!
Okay, enough of jokes because even making fun of ignorant travel bloggers and vloggers in the previous paragraph is just a waste of time especially when you are going to talk about increasing and sustaining your quality of life (he’s lying. close the tab when you have time!).
This time, Welcome for real.
And Happy Birthday Etranger au Paradis!
When we talk about the quality of life, we notice that many layers of the society have different aspects about it. For Economics, it always refers to well-being, wealth and standard of living. For a religious person, it is following what his/her holy scripture says. For the poor, it is the ability to be happy with what you have already got or to prove that a man does not have to spend too much to be satisfied. It is more complicated for the mid class. As i have observed, they just want to prove on the social media that their social lives are splendid, they are happier than ever, they can afford it and they always (?) have time for it. For the rich, it splits up. For the elder riches, it is to be powerful and not being dependent on anybody. For the sons and daughters of a rich family… Well… Hmm…
Do you know what the most grievous part is? We do only pay attention on it when we face with financial problems or when we get cross with somebody. Break ups can fall under that too: “(S)he is going to see!”, “Dumbass!”, “I was dating with an asshole…” etc. I am going to talk about it in more detail later on.
My last year was a nice but also an exhausting year with facing many cultural shocks. You already know the story and frankly, i am affected by each of them too much. While i was living in the French Riviera, i unintentionally absorbed the French logic day by day. When i returned to Turkey, it was hard but after a couple of months, i reabsorbed the Turkish logic all of a sudden. But when i went to a city that i love (Prague), it is replaced with a much worse one alongside a small disappointment: Middle European logic. After my return from Prague, i had 3 kinds of logics, i did not know what to do with them and a thought was spinning around my head all the time: “Every time you insist on what you believe, what you want to be true, you get disappointed and you get back to the initial point. Now, you really have to change your tactics.”. That is why, i had many questions that i can gather under just 2 simple questions: “Who is doing right and who is doing wrong?”, “What am i doing right and what am i doing wrong?”.
And in the end, after 3 months, here are all the answers for those who are in the edge of change and reconsideration.
First of all, you need some time and some space.
Have you ever realised that almost everything you do when you are in a hurry lacks some quality? Even when you cook some meatballs. If you cook it faster, you burn it. But, you cannot cook it slowly either. You are hungry and if the taste is really important to you, you try to get the tastiest moment as fast as you can.
What i am trying to say is that, our professional lives rarely tolerates our sadness, fatigue, illness and idiocy. Whereas friendship is not so different. You may ask why. Because both say: “You gotta get your shit together right now!” when you are having hard times. That is all! Nobody explains you how to do that. In fact, you can find some people to give you advice when you face with a serious problem. But they all start with: “I passed through worse.” and declare themselves the actual victim in the end. In other words, even your best friends’ range of comprehension in your hard times may not go beyond your sadness. That is why, no matter how many friends you have got and no matter how thoughtful they are, you are actually on your own.
You will eventually have to put that Nutella down. But, not know.
You can use that time to take a look at yourself and your life.
I have to warn you that some of your friends may not empathise the way you apply the previous article. For example, i was so strict to myself that all i had been saying was: “I don’t want to deal with children, animals and people whose IQ level is less than 100 anymore.”. Because i really needed to reconsider everything around me, everything in the world my mind can comprehend. But some of them were a little bit offended and kindly asked me what was the problem between me and them. Because in their opinion, i was creating some tension in the room by doing so. Luckily, we could reach the mutual respect. On the other hand, the distance between me and total strangers was bigger than ever. To me, they all were potential frauds.
Define the limits of your privacy well and strengthen them. Stop sharing everything you do.
As we are living in the information age today, we have been using a single word much more often than ever: Stalking which is spread all over the world as rapidly as Facebook. As it is explained in The Social Network, one of the main goals of Facebook was to make easier to find out what your crush likes, what are his/her preferences, whether (s)he has a boyfriend/girlfriend. It was quite useful at the beginning. Despite making a little research on your crush, you were able to discover more about your acquaintances and also, what your friends from primary school had been doing.
Today, the range of the social media has already gone up. When somebody writes your name on Google, from your Facebook profile to your connected2me profile, all your social media accounts can be found unless they are anonymous. Therefore, the more the users post, the less they can separate their private lives from their regular lives. How come?
1- The fact is, easily accessible things are never enough appreciated whereas mysteries and secrets are. And the more the users share their lives on the internet, the more the others try to avoid or the more it gets worthless.
But, it is not our point. It is your life. Our point is this:
2- You may have a crush or fall in love. You might have had a great time. Your heart might be broken. You still might be angry with him/her or you may still miss him/her. It is true that being sad, broken-hearted, in depression or in bohemia is not something to be ashamed and they are feelings as well as joy, cheer, delightedness, happiness etc. I understand you but please, never ever share a quote or a meme by which you try to make him/her regret and convince everyone that you are strong enough to move on as soon as possible. Because firstly, you officially declare that you haven’t moved on yet. Secondly, your target does not care as much as you expect. If the target did, (s)he would not break your heart in the first place. Thirdly, your feelings are not government property. It means that if you want a healthy relationship, flirt or a healthy procedure of moving on, please do not let the third parties in too much. I did this before (even in here) but i really regret it.
Besides, If you really want to move on, it might be better for you to be busy with your job/task most of the time. If you do not have one, get it or do the thing you love most instead of sharing this kind of posts:
No matter how good you lie, always be 100% honest to yourself.
All of you have your own problems. Some of them are as giant as your bottoms and some of them are close enough to be as tiny as your boobs. People always think that i am talking about the acceptance of being wrong when i open this topic up for discussion. Actually, i mean the complete acceptance of who you really are.
No matter how good you lie: i.e. - Everyone who has an at least steady state of mind begins with their good features when they are demanded to describe themselves. Then, they go on with just a few negative features. It is true and acceptable in the 21st century that you have to market yourselves in order to be a popular person to get a job, your good or service to be sold etc. Even i do it right now for this article being read.
Always be 100% honest to yourself: Especially -excluding gold diggers- when you think about yourselves, you know that you are not perfect and sometimes, you dream of a person who would accept you as what you are or for who you really are. You are handsome/beautiful, but you are stupid. You are a nice person, but you are boring. You are a good kisser, but your mouth always smells cigarette. You are clever, but you are ugly and lame. “You have gotten fat.”, “You still miss him/her.”, “You are wrong.”, “Your effort was not good enough.” etc. Despite accepting you completely, people are in fact not obliged to love you. They can love you, care about you, accept your bad habits and attitudes but people always forget that the others do not have to do this. But you do. You must love yourselves and grab your all sides. However, there is always a room for improvement. So, you should be aware of your negative features but those features cannot be an excuse all the time. If you are going to lose the game, at least do it while you are trying.
Promises and responsibilities are as important as work and tasks.
As a matter of fact, depending on how one of you care about the other, a promise can be a task as well. Because when you open it up, it shows that either you are trying to gain your opponent’s confidence or your opponent is indecisive about counting on you. So, please never ever forget that you cross the edge when you promise something. Otherwise, recall how you would feel if you came to an agreement with the landlord but he signed the rental contract with someone else.
About the responsibilities… In fact, responsibilities towards the others are meant in here. But you are going to find a nice connection between the responsibilities towards the others and bla bla anyway within the last article’s explanation.
If you want some radical changes in your life due to norms, please be eager for them.
This article in fact concerns some age groups. People in their twenties generally think that; there is too much time ahead, they have to do stupid things to prove that they are not as “boring” as older people and they are allowed to fail as much as they can as the invisible hand will “save” them eventually. When it comes to people in their thirties, i was used to think that they get more stable and mature, their lives are in order, only a few good friends are enough for them etc. But the truth is an absolute fiasco. The only accomplishment of all the people in their thirties whom i met is going to work and getting out of work on time. Simply, they try to pretend like they are 81 but they always pretend like they are 18. They all think that there is nothing left to witness anymore. No matter what you want to become or what they do for a living, all of them think that you will pursue his/her way and overwhelm you with their advices you are already aware of. But at the same time, they also want to prove that they are “still” young and dumb. On the other hand, people in their forties are at least aware that the world is changing day by day and there are still much to learn with the help of their life evidence. Unlike a 30 year-old, a 40 year-old does not want you to be him/her 20 years ago deep inside.
As you see this example formed with different age groups, when you feel you are in the edge of something, you get into a panic and you take important decisions about your life whilst saying: “I am about to graduate or i am about to be 30. I must do this…”. You cannot be judged about that. You do what you have to do. But let’s be honest, how many of you do it voluntarily? And how many of you succeeded it perfectly?
Simply, they try to pretend like they are 81 but they always pretend like they are 18.
You do not have to love kids and animals to be a good person.
For around a half decade, loving kids and animals has strongly been considered as a sign of being a good person. Therefore, it is so much defended by a considerable percentage that according to this idea, you are a bad person if you do not love them. Even when your mood is not good enough to caress them or to play with them.
The thing is, there is no such thing as the bright side and the dark side as we are not living in the Star Wars universe. Thus, when you do not like something specifically, you do not have to hate it. For instance, let’s consider two random countries: Turkey and Mexico. If you take a look at them, you will see that they do not have anything in common and Mexico’s issues does not concern Turkey politically. That is why the Turk are neutral towards Mexico and the Mexican. Just because there is not a specific interest or love towards them, does it make us their haters, moreover, racists? Absolutely not.
On the other hand, some people find animals dirty and they do not prefer to get in touch with them. Some (like me) does not prefer it too as cats usually approach you for your food and dogs for being pampered. And some are scared of them. Just because my mum is scared of tortoises, does it make her a bad person?!
About the children… To me, they all are exhausting and i am not tend to convince them that the world is a splendid place.
When the vehicles take the long road instead of a shortcut, it doesn’t mean that they are imbecile. It means that they know something.
You may play the fool to avoid a fight, say something irritating in the very last minute, flirt with someone else when your darling is not around, stretch the rules, reduce the raw material or hire someone who could work without any insurance to diminish the total cost, act selfishly and say that you are sorry all the time, show the traffic, the distance or nodding off as a reason for your delay, try to replace the customers to attract other customers etc. Some people may instantly react, some may decide to wait or some may decide to be as patient as Buddha. No matter whom you are dealing with, nobody actually buys your cheesy tricks.
For example, attendance is not obligatory in my school. As a matter of fact, it might be one of the several examples in Istanbul. Hence, my friends out of school ask me whether the attendance is too low when i mention it. I say: “No. To be honest, i have to get to the classroom or lecture hall at least 20 minutes before the lecture starts.”. Are there any students who barely attend? Of course but, do you know why the attendance is high? Because those who do not attend get lower grades most of the time. Just because the ex Western Block countries’ citizens are not as “genius” as the ex Iron Curtain countries’ citizens, should they be considered as dumb? I do not think so…
You can be sneaky of course. As a matter of fact, you should be and give the priority to yourselves. Because if you do not try to trick the others before them, they will do one way or another (sad but true). But, please -i am begging you- add some quality, intelligence and ruthlessness to your sneaky work unless you want to declare that you are a scumbag to the entire world. You can make someone feel you cannot live without him/her and then, shatter all his/her hopes. Or you can “live” your role like you are going to a fancy restaurant for real for a rendez-vous trick or find a real person for your “I’m not single” trick. I can suggest you the film Argo to get inspired.
The evil does not always come from the devil
It is believed by many people that you can count on your family, your best friends and your valentines and they will never ever upset you. But after a while, we are obliged to keep our guards up against one question: Why the ones who have really devastated you were the ones whom you cared the most?
Because the mankind has always been in search for a safe place which can be either a real place or somebody so that they could finally drop their guards down. That is why people are still exaggerating the concept of home. And that is why the concept of home is still linked with the eternal safety, peace and happiness. Whereas, even an insurance company cannot guarantee you that your house will not be burnt to the ground by an earthquake or a bomb. So, who can guarantee you the person you get along very well will not fail or betray you? As i said before, you are actually on your own and please keep in mind that you are less safe than you think.
Being in a bad mood is not inglorious, but it is not sublime either.
While i was deeply searching a film or a series which does not contain love and smoking, one of my friends on Facebook was used to share memes and criticisms about a Netflix series frequently and it suddenly got my attention. This series was Bojack Horseman. As i was kind of desperate, i decided to go for it thereby i kept my expectations low. But what i found was obviously far beyond them:
After finishing all the 4 seasons, i continued to watch more dark matters in the next week such as Little Miss Sunshine, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Last King of Scotland, Hotel Rwanda, Lost in Translation etc. Long story short, after watching Bojack, all those films and running across Facebook pages and groups sharing dark memes, i started to ask myself whether this process actually attracts people to pass through a depression or experience some bad habits. The attraction for them has not just begun, per se. For instance, in the 60’es, Sex Pistols were exalting Anarchy in the UK and Pink Floyd were exalting using drugs whilst we could find hippies on each corner. It has been 50 years since the golden age of “peace”. But why it has spread across the globe again? Rather, do the producers really care if the audience interpret this, this, this, this and this wrong?
To reach the conclusion, we have to take a look at the side effects and the consequences of optimism and pessimism. When you are an optimist, it means that you want to be a sensitive person who wants to believe that everything is going to be alright whatsoever when you are devastated. But also, you rather to fool yourselves by closing your eyes and ears when you realise that you have made a huge mistake. However, when you are a pessimist, it means that you are sick and tired of expectations, hopes, miracles etc. Apart from optimism, it is much harder for you to get out as you are stuck in a void and as you have stopped to believe in yourselves. When somebody has a problem with you, what you only think will be: “Oh bloody hell! I’ve already got enough problems. I don’t wanna deal with you too!”. In other words, you get introvert and it pushes you down more. One way or another, you run into dark films, songs, memes and stuff as you think that they do not lie to you and they are the only stuff being honest with you. Wrong! They are being honest with you because they try to accomplish what their rivals accomplish in another way. Hence, they are not the cure you think unfortunately . They are down there just to stop the bleeding, not to heal it as the funny ones are not the cause of a long-lasting happiness.
No matter how optimistic or pessimistic you are, life is realistic. But its reality is negativity biased.
When you get into a fight, even an altercation, whoever wins, both sides lose.
Actually, it is well explained in a sort where all of the stories are more original than the other one, all of them have plot twists: romantic comedies. It is a sort of film in which a man and woman meet; they cannot get along at first; then they start to get along; then they fall in love; they fight; and in the end, Hugh Grant or Ryan Reynolds (who is already portrayed as a romantic Superman) does something miraculous and cute to the woman who is already moving on and they set sail for their eternal (!) love.
You see, a man knowing too much about romcoms is absolutely abnormal. Here is the main reason why i am in love with my bachelorhood at the moment, ladies and gentlemen! haha
This example might cover only romances but it actually covers all sorts of altercations. Because, although the ends of romcoms yell: “Welcome to Disney.”, unfortunately there is no such thing in the real world. Mostly we tolerate your bad habits or features as long as we can if we like you. And when we break your heart, even if it is just a result of not being able to tame our nerves, it means that there is only a 5% chance left to go back to old times. So, it might be better for you to reconsider what will be the consequences of your altercation, your fight or your battle for both sides equally right before you begin. If you can foresee all the possible results and dare to take full responsibility, then you are free to go for it. Otherwise…
Last but not least, never ever forget that you share this world with the others.
Usually we the mankind forget that everybody does not share the same ideas, perspectives, ethical rules, customs etc. Hence, however we try not to, we always see the world and the people from our own perspectives. Moreover, the less we open our minds, the less we tolerate.
So far, i have tried to tell the importance of taking it easy, privacy and priorities; infinite existence of the room for improvement while you completely accept who you are; the positive relationship with the quality of your work and your willingness; what you do not actually have to do and what you actually have to do and so on… It is true that you have to think yourselves and your interests before everyone else. But like it or not, you are living in this society and in this world with the ones you love and with the ones who irritate you so, there is nothing wrong with getting out of your haters’ ways and respecting everyone else.
Because as a matter of fact, living your lives correctly is only about 3 things:
Finding the balance between not annoying people and convincing them that they can control you.
Finding the balance between being a prick and a regular person.
Failing in your choices as less as you can.
The first 2 are about your position in the society whereas the last one is completely about you. And according to my experiences, unless you follow the first 2, the previous article always applies. I have been quite ruthless to myself about it for 4 months. I have created a circle and so far, i have been excluding every living thing under an IQ level of 100, kids, animals and the people whom i do not assume that they will be sad if i die. It is a quite riskless method but it has applied.
Bonus: After a while, if you have not been introduced to your flirt’s friends yet or if your flirt’s friends do not involve you in sincerely; keep calm and flee.
Thank you for reading.